I feel disconnected,

         I thought about death, I thought about you, and my mom.

Today for the first time I biked without my hands holding the handles, I opened my hands, fearfully, till I lost my balance. But the point was not finding the balance, it was being comfortable when unbalance. I was thinking about you. Your short red hair, and big teeth.

I really liked your big teeth. I loved kissing them with my teeth.

I am still disconnected, from my words, from the language.

I am loosing language.

What language?

                          A lnaguage

 

I want to write about a hill, a big red hill over a city but I only have an image. No words, no lines. It is not only a hill. It is an afternoon, with music, two people sitting on a bench down the hill. It is not only a hill, people have been murdered here, early mornings, when we were sleeping. Right here, where I imagine I am standing, lies a body. Lies your body. I am holding your body and running down the hill, I lost you one early morning.  I woke up and I knew you were gone. I feel rusty. My teeth are rusty. I got a big scar on my right leg, you have not seen it. It looks like Chile. It is long and brown, it has a tiny little island as well.

                                           You said, I lie. I think you are wrong.

                                           I think, sometimes you can not tell the difference between a truth and a lie.

      A LIE.

LIE.

I can never find the truth. The truth about wars, about stars, moon and why we were born.

The truth is I have never seen a dinosaur.

                                                   A DINOSAUR.

If I brush my teeth, you will not go away. You are between my teeth, right here. Like a cavity. I should break my teeth to get rid of you. Bad teeth.

The truth is I wont break my teeth.

                                                                                                                                                         Here.

                                                                         you

                                                                         I feel disconnected from you.